By Morak Babajide-Alabi
“Love recognises no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive its destination, full of hope,” Maya Angelou.
These thoughts of the great Angelou define our experience in this journey of life. Today March 18, 2020, marks a remarkable milestone for me and my wife, Biola. It is the celebration of 20 years in marriage. We are excited and appreciative of the fact that it’s been 20 years of love. It’s an unbelievable journey that we have to remind ourselves regularly that it has not been by our might but the Almighty Father.
In 2000 we both took steps of faith. It was a risky faith, especially on Biola’s path. It was a blinded faith because there was nothing attractive in my being at the time. I had just resigned from my appointment with The Guardian Newspapers and was in between job (jobless), no permanent abode, always skint, had a car that I purchased off an uncle, which most times started only when it wished. I could count everything in my wardrobe and place them in a plastic bag. Family members were worried about my future because there was nothing cheery about it. Some friends gave up because I couldn’t match their social/financial status anymore.
But Biola stood by me, to the surprise of many people. And as you could imagine (based on my story above), we have been through a lot together, ever since. There has been lots of downs and ups. When we started, we did not deceive ourselves that it would be easy as there was nothing to indicate that we have signed for an easy life together. But surprisingly she accepted the marriage as a task and committed her life to it. It was as if she made a vow to herself that no matter what comes up, she would make it work.
If you know a part (just a small part) of our stories, you will believe there is an Almighty Father, who directs the steps of human beings. If you know a part (just a minuscule part) of our stories, you will thank the Everlasting Father on our behalf. If only you know our stories (just a part), you will give glory to Him every second on our behalf. If only you know how many times we had slept without food, and how many miles we had trekked. Not by choice.
It’s been a journey when we cried sometimes and many times when we laugh so hard. It’s a journey when we have to cling to each other to cross many bridges. It’s being a journey to becoming one flesh. It’s a journey in which we disagree to agree. If anyone tells you marriage is easy, laugh at them. It’s been ups, downs, level, smiles, tears, hugs, celebrations, challenges, etc., but we kept at it. In the present circumstances, we thank the Almighty Father for His faithfulness. It is an institution that needs all the strength and energy of both parties. Imagine two individuals thinking as one.
Biola and I are now friends, siblings, parents and lovers. It was HARD work getting to the level we are. But God works in wonders. He has plans of good for us. He identified every step even before we became one. The initial obstacles and difficulties in our ways represent our tests. He never departed from us, and we never stopped calling on HIM. He took us through all the tests, and we became more RELIANT on Him in faith.
We know the challenges and storms that we have faced. But the commitment that we are in this union as one had consistently seen us through. There was no thought from either of us of abandoning it, rather we’ve been each other’s support. Many times I had misbehaved and fallen short of expectations, but the thought of giving up never crossed Biola’s mind. We always picked up and moved on. The experiences of yesterday are the jokes we share with our children today. And we laugh uncontrollably about them.
Anyone who knows Biola and me together will attest to the fact that friendship has invariably been a plus for us. And this is what we have inculcated in the kids as well – apart from being a family, we must primarily be friends too.
What do friends do? They get each other’s backs. No jealousy and no unnecessary bickering. With sincere friends, you are always bold to express your minds, cause scenes and at the end let good reasoning prevail while you settle with each other. When you are a friend with your spouse, you can shout and scream, but you know the anger is nothing but for a moment. In the family, we relate as friends and God has been remarkably good with us.
We look at each other nowadays and smile. We smile because of the mercy of the Almighty Father. We smile because of His faithfulness. We smile because it’s been 20 years of love, joy and happiness. We smile because we know we have just started, by His Grace. We smile because we are confident the Everlasting Father is always there for us.
And yet we smile more because we have family members and friends who had the choice to give up on us but decided to stay with us. They didn’t know their decisions would develop into a sweet story it is now. We appreciate you all for your support. And we cherish you the way you love us.
As we celebrate today, we thank the Almighty Father and also pray for His continued guidance over us in Jesus name.
As we celebrate our marriage today, we thank the Almighty Father and also pray for His continued guidance over us in Jesus name.
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