Your relationship with your church should be exactly like your marriage. This is why I am alarmed when I see people hop from one church to another “seeking” what they term the “ideal church” for them. Or when there is a minor misunderstanding people tend to “jump ship” and go “searching” for another church.
However, I tend to ask: If you are in a marriage, do you file for divorce each time you have a misunderstanding with your spouse? This should be our view of our church “membership”. If we truly believe in the “purpose” of the church, as espoused by our Lord Jesus Christ, there should not be any offence taken in the church.
We do not walk out of our marriages based on misunderstandings. Neither do we do in sympathy with friends who are having issues with their marriages. Do we say because Mr and Mrs Jones are having issues with their marriage, you file for divorce with your wife/husband in sympathy?
So also is the church. Many leave churches in sympathy with people they think have been wronged. This shows clearly they were in the church for the wrong reasons. There are numerous teachings in the bible about tolerance, forgiveness, patience, love etc. So where do we exhibit all these?
Below is a post I got from a blog on “Top Ten Things Church Hoppers Say”. Please enjoy the post as I did.
1. “But my old church…” This usually means they want your church to be like their old church.
2. “I just need time to be fed.” This means, “I don’t want to do anything. I’m here just to sit and see what I can get out of this church, so don’t expect me to
serve in any way, shape, or form.
3. “I’m looking for a church that teaches the Word.” This means, “I’m looking for a church that dispenses lots of information without challenging me to do anything.”
4. “We came here because we are looking for deep teaching.” This usually means their last church focused too much on actually obeying the Word. They want a church that just talks about the Rapture, the Second Coming, who the Hittites were and the identity of Theophilus.
5. “I should know my pastor.” This means, “In my last church, I got to know the pastor, but when the church grew, and the pastor couldn’t have dinner with us every Tuesday night, I left and came here.”
6. “We want a church that’s focused on discipling people.” This means, “I want a church that’s focused on me, not people who are lost.
7. “I wish you wouldn’t focus so much on what people need to do.” This means they don’t like commitment, they don’t like to be told the Bible actually tells them how to live and follow Jesus. They want to come to church, live in their sin and have no one tell them this is wrong.
8. “I wish you wouldn’t talk about money.” This is the best way to tell a pastor “I don’t give.”
9. “My old church/pastor was…” The way people come to your church is how they will leave. If your first conversation with them is all about their last church and pastor, that is how they will leave your church and how they will go to their next church.
10. “Pastor, I’ve been talking to a lot of people and they all say…” Translation: “Me, my spouse and my mother think…” If they start this way, 99.9% of the time they have no one else who thinks this way, it is just the best way to complain. If someone has a complaint and uses this line with me, they need to list all of the names or my best assumption is they talked to the same person 10 times. ( http://www.willmancini.com/2009/11/to-ten-things-church-hoppers-say.html)
